There’s a popular saying on social media that if the use of cane or its alternatives in Nigerian households became a punishable or jailable offence, it would probably take less than a week for us to have more Nigerian mother’s in jail than at home.
Over the years, mothers (and even fathers) have become increasingly comfortable with going for the nearest available options over cane — a choice that would be majorly dependent on the location at which the child errs.
Today, I’m bringing you 10 of these alternatives to cane in every Nigerian household.
1. Wooden Spoon
Ready alternative for kitchen corrections. Mom doesn’t have to stress over correcting you while she’s busy stirring the content of her big bowl of soup.
2. Slides
Fantastic for older siblings to throw at the head of younger siblings.
3. Good Slaps
How dare you misbehave and still remain standing at an arm’s length to mom? Well, some matters can only be settled by hand.
4. Dad’s Belt
The motivation behind Dad going through the stress of pulling out the belt from wherever he left it is all that matters here. Someone is definitely dying.
A nice leather belt might also be the perfect surprise gift for Him. Read more here…
5. Wire at the Back of the TV
If you ever inspire dad or mom enough for them to go through the stress of disconnecting those wires from the TV, then your tears will surely overflow.
6. Broom
Arguably Mom’s favourite. In all you do in life, always watch where you’re standing, relative to mom and the closest broom.
7. Bathroom Slippers
Perfect width and length for slaps too.
I believe you either found these alternatives to cane either helpful or relatable. But you will have to forgive me for not adding at the beginning that my Maths is very terrible. How else could I have even found myself writing?
So, I’ll be stopping at #7 and not #10. Maybe if I were to be in your Nigerian home, you would’ve used these alternatives on me. But thankfully, the internet gives no room for such violence.
